Is blood thicker than water?

To all who think that blood is thicker than water, think again! When I came out into the capital city at the age of 22 to start over after a broken marriage, none of my elder brothers offered me anything. It was a compassionate employer who saw potential in a young woman who had known nothing but family life in all her 22 short years.

Later when this same young woman made another wrong choice and had to leave her husband again, it was still not her brothers who offered her comfort. All they could say were, ‘I told you so.’ It was a friend who had not even been asked but who had overheard my story that went out silently to have the keys to his house duplicated. He then handed them to me and told me that I could stay for as long as I needed to.

When I needed a hand up or even a hand out, it was never blood who gave them to me, it was always gentle, caring friends. I may sound like a bad, useless and needy person but I am not in the least like that, I am a proud and sensitive individual. Friends understand me and look out for me in so many ways. They make sure that I am doing all right even when I put up a brave show with smiles and all the works.

My best friend comes in the form of a very simple young woman who is about the same age as I am. She got to know me at a temple affair and there was just an instant affinity between us. Within weeks of knowing her, I had taken her entire family as my own. I loved her children the way I would have loved my own if they had been at my side and I loved her and her husband’s many siblings and relatives.

She made sure I ate and she worried when I didn’t answer my phone. She saw through my front and knew the lonely woman in me, so I was included in all her family plans and even when I tried to refuse for fear of intrusion, she would get either her husband or son to come and pick me up. Her whole family remembered my birthday, included me in mothers’ day dinner and every one of the many festivals that we Malaysians celebrate.

When I left Malaysia on a crazy notion of travelling in North America by meeting up with online friends who could offer accommodation, it was my best friend who fretted and called every so often to make sure I was doing okay. Even until today when I am happily married, it is her and her children who call to include me in any of the important family gatherings like weddings, birthdays, etc.

As for my own family, my brother did not even have the courtesy to tell me when my mother passed away. His friend contacted me and when I wrote to him (my brother) to ask about funeral arrangements; he did not even bother to answer. My children could not attend the wake or the funeral because they did not even have an address to go to.

All that I have left now are my own children, my many nieces and nephews who attempt to keep in touch to make up for their fathers and of course the wonderful members of my best friend’s immediate and extended family.

In my case and also in the case of my present husband who is also estranged from his family, blood is only thicker than water in the literal sense.